"i'm not going to fall!"

Today I went ice skating for the fist time since having surgery to reconstruct my MCL 4 years ago. My knee injury occurred during volleyball practice in HS, but none the less, ice skating made me nervous. After my knee surgery, the quad muscle (the muscle right above the knee) on my right leg was atrophied and weak. I couldn't bend my right leg for about 2 months and had to keep some sort of brace on my knee for about 8 months. When I could finally bend my leg again, it took LOTS of physical therapy and weight training to re-gain muscle and an almost full range of motion to get back to normal. But to me, my knee will never be normal.

To my wonderful roommate, today was not a big deal. For me, today was about over coming an obstacle and facing one of my biggest fears. The obstacle that I was facing today was getting my knee to move with the ice rather than against it. During all of my post surgery therapy I re-learned a lot of skills, but ice skating wasn't one of them. Leading up to today, I knew that it would be my mind versus my body as soon as I stepped onto the ice. My brain knew what my legs needed to do, but the muscles in my right leg didn't. My biggest fear about my knee whenever I am doing any type of activity is re-injury and ice in general scares me. I hate walking on ice in the winter. I'm always afraid i'm going to fall and hurt my knee.

So I got my skates, put them on, and stepped onto the ice. I would by lying if I said it wasn't a little rough at first.  It was. I have never thought about a simple movement so much! The thoughts going through my head were push off, bend knees, lift leg, and do it all over again. It took my poor little knee about 20 minutes to get the hang of it and the words "i'm not going to fall" were probably spoken a hundred time in those first 20 minutes, but it was all so worth it!  =D

As the night went on it got easier and easier. My skating got better and faster. I found myself being able to not only keep up with Caitie, but at points get ahead of her. At times I couldn't help but just think about how far my abilities have come since having surgery 4 years ago. I just couldn't help but smile! =) Being able to spend an hour and a half ice skating and be okay was a big deal to me. Up until recently, and especially today, my knee had been my biggest insecurity. After today, I finally feel like I can do everything that I did before my injury and that makes me really happy. =D

Caitie and I ice skating at the Main Street Arena.

As a side note, another cool thing about this evening is that Caitie and I witnessed the most adorable couple get engaged while we were ice skating. Who knew that faking a fall could lead to a happy ending? =)

the beginning

Number one! This is exciting!

Right off the bat I would like to explain how I came up with the name of my blog. Sonrisa means smile in Spanish and anyone who knows me knows that over 75% of the time I have a smile on my face. I LOVE smiling and laughing and well, anything associated with being happy. The main purpose of this blog is to talk about the moments, pictures, songs, stories, and people that help me find happiness in my life everyday. My dream is that someone out in cyber space will come across this, read it and have a better day because of it. =)

Secondly before I start blogging, I'd like to talk about me. =) I'm Holly. I'm a sophomore in college and am majoring in Psychology. I have the most amazing boyfriend, group of friends, and family that ANYONE would be lucky to have. I feel blessed to have them in my life. I am a very eccentric, loud, and fun person. I have A TON of interests and passions so I won't list them all here, but i'm sure that they will make it into my blog at some point. I love my life and wouldn't change any part of it! =)

This is a horrible picture, but it's me and my family. I love them dearly. =)

Today was a good day. I visited Broadway High School (my alma mater) to see their production of Annie Get Your Gun! When I was in High School, I participated in musical all four years. I loved musical. It was the highlight of my year every year and is quite honestly one of the only things I miss about BHS. 

BHS musicals are intense. Auditions took place in early December and lasted for a week. They consisted of reading lines, learning choreography, and singing. After a week, the cast list was published and we wasted no time getting to work. Our shows always took place the last weekend in February or the first week in March depending on the calendar and it honestly take every bit of those 3 months to get the show together. We had rehearsals for 3 hours after school Monday-Friday and choreography rehearsals from 9:00-5:00 on Saturdays. It was a lot of work but it was so worth it! Nothing can replace the feeling of accomplishment and happiness that I felt at the end of every show. 

For the past 2 years when I have gone back to see the musical, it has been bitter sweet. It's sweet because I feel very proud to have been a part of a great BHS tradition. It's bitter because I miss it. This evening when I was sitting in the audience it was no different and I kept thinking of how much I wished I could be on that stage again. But as much as I miss it, I am so incredibly proud by the students who are living it up this year. This is so cliche, but for those 3 months, I saw my fellow cast mates more than I saw my family. We laughed, cried, danced, sang, worked, and ate together. Everyone became my family and I will never forget those 4 years. =)

This is from my senior year. The musical was Singin' in the Rain. =)